Things that matter

Writing about anything and everything that matters to me.



Slut #2

Somebody I recently met for the first time (but have been talking to for a while) asked me if my “hyper-sexual” attitude is due to the sexual abuse I faced as a child or because I was mistreated by some people I dated.
Now, I’ve realised that this query has been around for a very long time now. So here is the explanation for everything, the one nobody is entitled to.

1. I’m honestly sick of being called a “hyper-sexual”, “whore” or “slut”. I’m not fucking everybody and neither am I taking money for it, even if I am, IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
2. I have been very open about many things and have always made sure I talk about things personally to make people around me comfortable. Honest dialogue sorrounding the “taboo” topics is my speciality and I’ll keep questioning, talking, commenting, shouting. I have never mentioned anything to people for sympathy because I don’t need your sympathy. But just because I talk about some traumatic things so casually, DO NOT ASSUME I’M OKAY WITH YOU TRYING TO “PSYCHOANALYSE” ME WITH YOUR MISINFORMED BRAIN.
3. My experiences are mine to talk about. If I’ve trusted you enough to share something personal with you, HAVE THE COURTESY TO NEVER USE IT AGAINST ME.
4. Just because I don’t point it out again and again, please don’t assume I’ve forgotten or it is okay for you to joke about it. Please take my polite protests seriously.

Everybody really needs to get a life of their own, TBH. I’m really done. I tried to argue with everybody who was being unreasonable, sexist or just plain rude but now I’m done. You people who stand in the name of “preserving Indian culture” and “purity and sanctity of women” by disrespecting somebody’s way of life fucking disgust me.
If anybody has a problem with what I say, do, write, click, post-then leave. You don’t have to meet me, or text me or call me, just to remind me that “hey Shaifila, you know I think maybe your past is the reason you fuck so much”
Nobody deserves an explanation for anything you do. I don’t need that negativity in my life. Last few days have made me realise how difficult it is for people to mind their own business 🙂
I use all platforms I have to speak about things that matter to me and Facebook is one of them. You have every right to disagree but not by insulting me. I’m up for ideological debates as long as you’re not saying stupid shit. If at any point of time my “Facebook activism” bothers you, you can unfollow me and not be a dick about it.

(Even though this is about “me”, if you’re one of mean ones who try to associate behaviours with trauma and be an asshole by asking for explanations, STOP. If this is happening to you, tell them to stop or do what I’m going to do ab se, PUNCH THEM. <3)



Hello people of the internet.

Let’s stop slut shaming women who have sex.
Stop writing things like “what a hoe man.”
Stop calling her reaction and worry as “sympathy seeking” because thanks to assholes and judgmental people like you, SHE WAS VERY SCARED.

MAYBE you need to start TALKING about sex. And condoms. And abortion.
If you’re a parent or an elder sibling, teach the young ones.
If you’re working for some school or can bring some change, DO IT.

Suicides ARE NOT a joke. If a person is traumatized enough to kill herself instead of seeking help, YOU AS A PART OF THE SOCIETY NEED TO UNDERSTAND YOU’RE WRONG AND NEED TO CHANGE.

Also. All the idiots who told me I’m supporting “unprotected sex”, I’m not. -_-Have safe sex. Don’t have sex. Have kids. Don’t have kids. Just stop dictating things and try to help.

Abortions are scary and thanks to the society it is scarier.


Feminism is so stupid. (JK)

A lot of people complain about the misguided “feminists” and the “reverse sexism” this leads to. Most of the social movements that demand change have a group of haters who don’t intend to make things worse but don’t want to be an ally simply because they don’t agree to some things done by some people.
To cut out the arbitrariness, let’s talk about feminism. Even though we have a group of people who want to Shun the patriarchal ideology that obviously suppresses both men and women while completely forgetting other possible gender identities, most people want to stand for “equality” and not feminism.
I don’t agree to a lot of things many people do in the name of feminism, but at the same time invalidating an entire struggle just shows how little you care when the issue is not about you.
Here’s the thing, your support should not be based on whether or not an individual is nice to you. Movements like feminism and black lives matter (etc) are about ensuring basic human rights for everybody, it is about the equal rights.
Being an ally or a supporter is about the movement and not about how polite the supporters are to you. IMG_20161103_144927.jpg

Women and Islam

My recently published article on the ‘unslut project’ blog.

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